How The Mind Works

My first Galantamine experience being pretty over the top, it wasn’t long before I tried it again.  It was during the huge snowstorm we had last winter.  I took the capsule at approximately 3:00AM as recommended.  I fell back asleep quickly, then “woke up” to see a large picture window on the wall across from my bed.  I could see daffodils, green grass, blue skies, bird singing – SPRING!  Realizing that we don’t have a picture window in our bedroom and that in reality we had three feet of snow at the time, I thought, Cool!  This must be my lucid dream.”  I got out of bed and hopped out the window.

So there I am, wondering around in this gorgeous nature scene.  I thought, this must be part of heaven.  And if I’m in heaven, God must be around here somewhere, right?  So there I am, I am wondering around looking for God and starting to feel kind of slighted because I couldn’t find him, when I encounter this cranky cleaning lady.

“You people!” she said.  “All you ever do is come here and make a mess!”

I wondered how anyone could be in such a place and still find a way to be a grouch.  “Have you seen God by any chance?” I asked.

“Try over there,” she said, pointing to a large building.

So I headed off towards it.  I went inside a big open lobby.  It was some kind of museum.  There was an exhibit room right in front of me so I went in.  It was full of lost things!  Remember in Reconnecting - Sychronicity, Dreams, and Antique Pianos I mentioned having to throw away an old stuffed Snoopy dog?  This old toy – falling apart and filthy beyond cleaning – came to symbolize all the pain and agony of cleaning out my parents’ house.  Putting that in the garbage was probably the most painful thing I have ever done.  And HERE, in this crazy galantamine induced lucid dream, is a room full of lost objects, and right in there in front of me is my old snoopy dog!  Good as new!

I pick him up and I am standing there hugging this thing and crying.  Then I remembered my stuffed lamb.  I had a stuffed lamb that was bought for me in the hospital the day I was born.  I had it until about fourth grade, when it vanished.  If I’m in some mystical place where lost things go, then my lamb should be here too!  So off I go in search … and then I noticed that there were other people there too, finding their stuff and either crying or laughing with delight.  That’s when I overheard someone say, “they have that book for sale again – “How The Mind Works”.  It’s really hard to get.”

Holy cow!  This I have to see, I thought.  So I went out of the exhibit and found a security guard.  I asked him where this book or pamphlet or whatever was being sold.  He directed me to a bookstore inside the building.  Eagerly I got in line.

“Do you have that book, “How The Mind Works”?” I asked.

“Sure,” she says.

“How much is it?”

“It’s free.  But first you have to read workbooks one and two.  They are $20 each.”

Whatever, I thought.  She obviously wasn’t going to give me one without my buying these workbooks.  I was carrying a back pack, so I opened it up and thought to myself, OK, Bill’s wad is in my backpack.  I have lots of money.  I stuck my hand in and pulled out a huge wad of $100 and $500 dollar bills.  Not funny! I told my mind.  Let’s try this again – I have Bill’s wad in my backpack, and it is all small denominations.  I pulled out the wad of money again and it looked normal!  I fished out two $20 bills and handed them to the checkout lady.  She gave me both workbooks and then The Book.  It looked old – the cover and spine were leather, but were also orange.  (Remember this – orange is important and will show up in dreams repeatedly over the next few months.)  I crammed them all into my backpack and then headed for the Starbuck’s I noticed across the hallway from the bookstore.

On the way over I ran into some of the people I’d seen in the lost artifact room.  “Hey check this out!” I told them.  “I just got a copy of a book called “How The Mind Works”.  I’m going over to Starbuck’s to read it.  Can you imagine what it might say in a book called “How The Mind Works” in a lucid dream?”

They were excited too and followed me into the Starbucks.  We were all sitting together at a table.  I unzipped my backpack – another zipper!  I unzipped that one – still another zipper!  I closed my eyes.

OK, I told my subconscious mind, this is not funny!  Open the backpack!

I opened my eyes and unzipped again.  Another zipper!  Perhaps it was punishing me.  I should try to be respectful.  I closed my eyes again.

OK, PLEASE open the backpack.

This time when I opened my eyes the backpack had turned into a load of laundry!  The dream began to destabilize.  I considered spinning but decided instead, screw this!

I woke up briefly and then went back to sleep.  I had several other less exciting dreams where I complained to dream characters about how I’d been wronged about that book.  In the very last one, I was lying on the sofa at my parents’ old house.  My dad and my brother John were there.  I was still complaining.

“Well the backpack is right there!” said my dad, pointing.

Sure enough – there it was on the floor next to the couch!  I grabbed it and unzipped it.  There was the book!  I took it out and opened it up.  Ugh!  It was full of 1950’s style psychobabble!

So I guess that’s how the mind works: it plays tricks on you!

Earthbound Spirit Encounter - The Auction

And now for something completely different ...

As a child I figured out gradually that there are basically two kinds of ghosts.  There were the kind like my grandparents - a positive, loving entity who can go where they want, when they want.  And then there were the kind that lived in the woods - the kind associated with Halloween, the spooky, the icky, and the scary.  These ones were usually stuck someplace.  Sometimes you run into a friendly one but they are still usually creepy.

Many years later in reading about spirits I learned that this is generally believed to be true.  The Bible says that "it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment" (Hebrews 9:27).  Most people take this to mean there is no such thing as reincarnation, but I have come to understand this differently.  Rather, at the end of (every) lifetime we die and face judgment.  Researchers of the NDE (Near Death Experience) refer to this as the life review, where you entire life is reviewed and you understand everything that you did, said, and thought along with all of the ramifications these things had on others.  So here is the process: you die, you go into The Light, and you have a life review (judgment).  At that point you are "in The Light" a "clean spirit".  If instead, when you die, you hang around and do not go into the light, perhaps because you think you are going to hell, or God doesn't want you, or some other such flawed idea, then you are no better off than you were when you were alive.  Actually you are worse off because you are living in the physical world with no body to interact effectively with it.  You are not in The Light, instead you are an "unclean spirit".  And you are probably living with a lot of self imposed beliefs like "I can't leave this house" and your beliefs become your own prison, at least temporarily.  I have come to believe that most earthbound spirit occurrences resolve themselves in time.  Most hauntings you hear about are less than a couple hundred years old.  If they were stuck here forever then the world would completely fill up with ghosts!

At this point I should interject that there is another kind of haunting known among paranormal researchers as a residual haunting.  Rather than an actual entity being there, a residual haunting is an impression of energy on an object or place that is a "memory" of something that happened there once.  So really it is an instance of psychometry (reading energy attached to an object) as opposed to an encounter with a spirit.

My mother and I had an interesting conversation once - when she was alive - about how often the Bible speaks of God being The Light.  And we couldn't help but wonder if beyond this being true, this is mentioned repeatedly so that when people die, they will actually remember they are supposed to go into The Light.

After the long introduction here is my most recent earthbound spirit encounter.  About a year ago we attended a local auction.  Being antique enthusiasts we do this fairly often.  This auction was different.  It felt creepy the minute I walked in.  Most of the furniture was really fascinating because it literally looked like it had been sitting somewhere untouched for the last 150 years.  The upholstery was original and very dusty!  In the back room was an entire table of Victorian toys - dolls caked with layers of dust and grime, tin toys, and other strange things.  As I looked at them I felt nauseated and dizzy.  There was a strange looking 19th century tricycle, kind of like this but child sized:

Out of the corner of my eye I see this little boy in knee pants sitting on this device frowning at me.  At the same time I realize he is not alone - he's got his entire family with him.  And they are hanging around (unseen) frowning at everyone because they are ANGRY.  Big time.

By that time we'd looked at everything and I was starting to get a migraine headache.  I also thought I might actually throw up if I didn't get the heck out of there.  On the way out be bumped into one of the auction house employees who we happen to know.  We stood and talked to him a few minutes and having the opportunity, I asked him where they heck this stuff came from.  He told me, proudly, that it had all come from a big old house on Negley Avenue that had been caught up in some estate problem for decades.  The house hadn't been altered or redecorated since the 19th century so all this stuff was real!  None of it was restored or reupholstered!  Isn't that great?  Isn't that amazing?

Then I understood what was going on.  This 19th century family had remained in the house in an earthbound state after death.  Somehow they had managed - either by luck or being able to influence their heirs - to keep the house unchanged for a very long time.  And they were content that way.  Then one day a truck pulled up and some men took all their stuff!  Shocked and horrified they'd followed their belongings to the auction house and well, they were not in a very good mood by that point.

So we left.  They were not interested in talking to me - just making me sick - but I do hope they gave up and went into The Light rather than following some unsuspecting buyer home from the auction.  I sure didn't bid on any of that stuff!

The Lucid Dream Pill - Galantamine

As these experiences continued I started doing more research and reading, including the topic of lucid dreaming.  There has been so much research done since the last time I studied this subject, which was probably at least 25 years ago.

One of the subjects being researched right now is the lucid dreaming "pill".  There is a substance found in daffodils and read spider lilies called galantamine that has been shown to increase the ability to lucid dream.  Apparently you have to be able to do it before you use the pill - just taking the pill itself is not enough.   The pill works by blocking the breakdown of neurotransmitters thought to be involved in dreaming and memory (this substance is also being tested in the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease).  Here is an article with the details.

I ordered a bottle from (what don't they carry?) Amazon.com:  Galantamine (GalantaMind), 4 mg - 90 Capsules

As directed I took the pill at 3:00AM - my husband Bill also woke up at the time and knew I was taking it.  This was to ensure that he didn't wake me up in the morning!  Shortly after taking the pill, I woke up in my parents’ bed.  Since I know the room was completely dismantled at that point, I knew I was dreaming!  I got out of bed and wondered what to do next.  This was so exciting!  My first lucid dream pill dream!  A few seconds later my mother walks in.  Wow!  We opened up the closet in my old room and it was full of my old clothes.  I could hardly contain my enthusiasm.  “In a million years, I never thought I would be standing in this room with you again!” I told her.

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

"Let's go shopping like we always did!" I said. 

We went to Kauffman's and shopped for hours!  That store is long gone of course, but in a dream you can do what you want.  We went to the one that used to be in Natrona Heights.  They always had tons of sale and clearance racks; we were regulars at this place back in the 1980's.

After that we went to watch a fireworks display from the top of the UPMC building in downtown Pittsburgh.  It was fantastic!  When it was over I suggested we jump down since she was already dead and I was dreaming.  One of the other dream characters suggested we didn't need to be that dramatic and why not just take the elevator over here?  So we went down the normal way instead.  Then we went to a restaurant and were having this fun, lavish meal when the dream started to destabilize.  I stood up.  “Everybody, spin!  It will stabilize the dream!” I yelled, getting up from the table and spinning.  When the dream still didn’t settle down, I told it “Stabilize dream!”  And it did.

But now everyone in the place is looking at us really funny.  In reality if someone got up from a table in a restaurant and did that - well the guys in white coats would be coming to take you away.  We decided it was a good time to leave.  Check please!  We were in the Pitt dreamscape and were walking down a sidewalk through a grassy area.  There was a gate at the end.  Dad was up ahead of us and he went through the gate first.  When we got there we couldn’t figure out where he went.  Then I saw him up ahead, around a clump of trees.  I told her to wait – I’d go get him.  When I got there he was being harassed by a group of teenagers.  They asked me what I was going to do about it.  I said “Well this is my dream, so this is what I am going to do about it.”  I whipped out a  2 by 4, swung it up over my shoulder and smiled at them.  They ran away.  When Dad and I got back to the gate my mother was gone and I woke up.  It was 10:00AM and I'd most likely had this dream for 3 or 4 hours!

She Leadeth Me Beside Sill Waters

This next happening actually ties in with research sited in “Hello From Heaven” (see recommended reading).  Research has been done on the frequency and types of ADC experiences people have.  A common theme is seeing your loved one on the other side of a body of water.  I was very surprised when I read this.  Mine has a little twist because being a longtime veteran of lucid dreaming; I decided to cross the water.  I gather from “Hello From Heaven” that most people do not attempt this – they either “know” that they cannot cross it or are afraid to cross it.

At this point we’d been cleaning out my parents’ house for several months.  It took forever and was extremely unpleasant.  In addition to the usual who-gets-what conflicts there is the strain of finding some place to take all of the stuff.  The primary source of misery for me was the early childhood memories getting stirred up.  One trait we seem to pass down is the ability to remember things from early infancy.  So here I am cleaning out drawers, and on the bottoms of the drawers are little foil stars that I stuck there when I was about 2 years old.  And not only can I remember that I did this, I remember why and lots of other things that were going on at the time – this is TMI when you are trying to clean out a house and cope with a recent death.  The only analogy I could come up with to describe what this was like is having to dig up your own corpse and decide which parts of it should be sent to the Goodwill.

It was in the middle of this struggle that I found myself standing in my parents’ house in a lucid dream.  Usually the house is exactly like it was when the lived there, but in this dream it was partially cleaned out.  I started get very upset.  I could sense that my mother was there but I couldn’t see her at the time.

“This is awful!” I lamented.  “There’s still enough stuff here that it seems like your house.  I can’t stand doing this anymore!”

I looked over towards the kitchen door and she was standing there.  She didn’t say anything, but smiled at me, opened the door, and walked out.  Naturally I followed.  Only instead of the deck being on the other side of that door (as it is in physical reality) there was a meadow.  At the edge of the meadow was a small river or large stream.  On the other side of it was a tree with a wooden porch swing hanging from the branches.  My mother was sitting on this swing.

I walked along the bank of the little river until I was almost directly across from her.  There was a place that was a little bit narrower so I decided to wade across.  The water was warm like bath water!  It actually felt really good.  It was moving and felt a lot like a hot tub.  I climbed out on the other side wet up to my thighs.  Then I sat down next to her on the swing.  She shot me this mischievous smile and said, “I can’t believe you actually crossed that.”

“You know I would have crossed the 100 foot deep river to sit here with you,” I said.  She knew what I meant – as a child I used to dream about this river that was 100 feet deep.  We talked about it a lot back in the day.

After that we just sat there.  It was timeless and it was perfect.  Nobody said anything because there was no need to.  Eventually I woke up and felt much better in a lasting way after this experience.

So I guess the take home lesson is this: if you have a dream like this, come on in, the water’s great!

Channeling Music

I would be an understatement to say I learned A LOT in that first reading!  It certainly validated that there was something to all of these experiences – the hair on the back of my husband’s neck stood up when he heard the part about the blue butterfly!  He remembered how I came home from that trip gushing about the butterflies being a sign, and at the time thinking yeah right.  He didn’t question my impressions nearly as often after that.  Although he did when I decided we should spend a whopping amount of money to record a CD of Grandpa Anderson’s music.  And I guess who wouldn’t think you were kind of nuts to spend a lot of money on something just because a dead guy encouraged you to do it?

As it turns out, he did more than encourage.  I left the notebook by my bed one night and spent the entire night being coached on exactly how to sing “The Last Rose of Summer.”  And then I woke up another morning with this name ringing in my ears: Chancery Olcott.  So I google that and turns out, well, he composed several of the songs written in the notebook!  The next night I find myself listening to Grandpa Anderson play, on his violin, an accompaniment to “The Last Rose of Summer” that really blew me my mind.  So I woke up and put it into Sibelius (music notation software) right away.  All of that time transcribing orchestra music paid off – I found I could write down what I heard in my dreams, as time progressed and I became more practiced at it - what I heard in my head.

Then I had a strange experience – I still don’t have a good explanation what this one is about.  But I found myself standing in the dining room back at The Aunt Farm.  And I knew I was dreaming because The Aunt Farm is long gone.  Grandpa Anderson walks in to the room.

“You know,” he says, “this whole thing would be easier if we used those wax cylinders.”

“Wait a minute!  Hold on – are you telling me you recorded yourself on wax cylinders?”  My mind is going a mile a minute – I’m remembering seeing these things at antique auctions – old machines that recorded music on cylinders that look like empty black toilet paper tubes covered in wax.  I didn’t know when they were invented but I knew they were around when he was pretty young – 1890’s at least.

“Yeah,” He said.

“And you know where they are?”

“Sure!” he said, and turned around.

“Wait!  Remember I’m not dead and I can’t walk through walls and stuff like that.  So don’t get too far ahead of me. OK?”

I followed him into the sun porch, which used to be his hangout back when he was alive.  He hauled open a drawer, looked confused, and pushed it shut.  Then he hauled open another drawer.  Same thing.  “Maybe they’re upstairs,’ he said.

So I follow him up to the master bedroom.  He pulls open another drawer, and another … it’s all The Aunts’ stuff!  I begin to realize: the image of the house came from my head.  I was never there when he was alive.  So the drawers are all full of The Aunt’s stuff instead of his.

“I don’t think you realize how long you’ve been gone,” I said.  “I’m talking like, forty years.  Everything in this house – it’s gone now.  This dresser is actually in my house in Pittsburgh.  There’s really nothing here anymore.”  I looked down and saw a CD lying on top of a pile of junk in the drawer.  “Hey look!   Know what this is?  It’s a CD!  It’s like a record.  This is what we’re going to record your music on.”

But I guess between the appearance of the CD and my pointing out how long he’d been dead, I broke the spell somehow.  When I looked up he was gone.

I did try to find these things, but the house was cleaned out long ago and none of my cousins remember seeing anything like that.  So I think it is a safe bet that they are gone but I will keep my eye open at the auction.  You just never know!